We all want to be heard.
We want our efforts to be recognized, our work to be valued and our struggles to be noticed.
Whether that’s in our relationships or work life, we want to be seen.
This is a natural human tendency, and in itself an opportunity for growth.
But how can we be immune to praise without it affecting our behaviour?
How many times have you dedicated hours on a project, or house chore, only for your boss or partner to glimpse at it with little interest or validation? How did that make you feel and did it affect your interaction with others in exchange?
The alternative is positive reinforcement and what Positive Psychology explains to be important in the workplace;
“Given this lifetime investment of time and talent, it makes sense that one’s work environment should be pleasant with many positive opportunities for growth and advancement. Moreover, from an employer standpoint; employee turnover, or churn, is really expensive to an organization. For example, economic turnover costs have been estimated as high as 213% of a year’s salary for a highly skilled job (Boushey & Glynn, 2012).
Consequently, it is in an employer’s best interest to provide a rewarding atmosphere that encourages productivity and motivation; and that discourages turnover – especially undesirable turnover”
The author continues by saying that; “Effective leaders possess a meaningful repertoire of reinforcement techniques, and they know how to use them.”
We like to narrow down these “techniques” to one that we all know and can use right away, and that is to be kind.
Although you may think it’s a simple act, it is the one that will stop you in your tracks and make you question yourself first. It will also have 100% of the impact, and the highest ROI every single time.
Here are a few things about kindness that you may not know about;
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Kindness is being aware of your own struggles and not letting them trickle to the people around you
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It’s a private act
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It usually starts with yourself before it can be shared with others
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It can be hard
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It asks for nothing in return
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Kindness is recognizing the good and possibility in others even when you’re struggling to find the same in yourself
Kindness is seeing the skill in your employees and team and encouraging them, praising them, and thanking them, even when you, as the leader, may have struggled with the same skill, may not have been encouraged by your peers, may not have been praised in a while, and may not be thanked enough. Kindness is Jack Dorsey letting go of his title and power as Twitter CEO and allowing a better-suited CTO to step up and grow the company.
The opportunities to be kind present themselves daily in the most unexpected events.
If we can consider kindness as a practice of love, towards others and ourselves, we can see that it is a silent act of acceptance. Accepting the other person just as they are, and accepting ourselves, flaws and all.